Gender Roles

This week for my Family Relations class we read a chapter from the book titled "Marriage and Family: The Quest For Intimacy". This book is so interesting! Near the end of the chapter, it talked about how there were several different ways that men and women communicate in relation to influencing one another. This list included: bullying, manipulation, disengagement, autocracy, supplication, and bargaining. In the book it said, "In a study of 235 intimate couples, researchers found that more feminine spouses are more likely to use supplication, while more masculine spouses tend to avoid both supplication and bargaining. Supplication is a relatively weak tactic. Thus, those with a feminine orientation are less likely to be influential and more likely to be influenced by a partner." As I read this I thought about the relationships that I have and the relationships of those around me. I continued to think about how we react in situations of conflict. It seems, at least to me, that the women tend to beg, cry, and sulk more often than men when trying to be influential, but it does not usual work out well on the women's part. It is fascinating to see how men and women act differently in communicating.

Also, many traits that people see as being more masculine or feminine are learned and not something people are born with. In the book I mentioned above, it said, "Those traits-warmth, caring, sensitivity, and nurturance-that are traditionally labeled as female are as appropriate for men as they are for women. These traits help people meet their needs for intimacy." If you see a man that acts a little bit more caring than most men, don't think he is 'girly', He is expressing himself and developing and meeting his needs. This also goes for women who seem to be a bit more masculine. There is nothing wrong with acting a little more rough, like playing tackle football. Don't judge others. What do you guys think? Is it okay for men to have some feminine traits? Is it all right for women to express some masculine traits?